Of course I want to! I sent you the first one just because I felt like it. Hm, that's a lie, actually. ✨ I sent it because I was hoping you'd say I was cute when you saw it. 💖
Of course! 💖 How exactly would you like me to verify it? I can sign a contract if you like. Or I can swear on something precious! Maybe you'd like me to write it in blood? That last one might be a bit hard, since I don't have any blood of my own. But I'll do my best! 💉✨
Oh, it was just a joke? I already went ahead and wrote it up...
[ Th-there's a link to a PDF she signed? It's written up like a legally binding contract?? Truly, she has too much time on her hands. ]
But that I can do! 💖 Do you have apron preferences? Or how about a particular pose? Or maybe you'd like me to keep it to myself and surprise you 🎵 Either way! Just be good and patient and wait ten minutes. 🙌 And then you'll have no choice but to tell me how cute I am!
[ True to her word, Lambda gives him ten minutes to the second before sending it through – this time she has the decency to message it rather than just injecting it into his camera roll for God and anyone to see. As promised, she's gone classic naked apron with an absurdly frilly thing that just barely manages to keep her covered and she's struck a cutesy pose, but considering just how much skin is on display with the apron the whole thing just ends up looking indecent... you know, as intended. ]
Special delivery! What do you think? I can send you another if you need to see from another angle. 💗
[ His sensible side is screaming to just call her cute and be done with this, but Kaito quickly reminds himself that his morals are skewed to begin with because he grew up around yokai.
That's the excuse he's going to stick with when the weight of his horny brain hubris catches up with him. ]
This is good, but I think I'm going to need more than just one extra angle.
Go for at least three more, and then I'll be able to form a proper opinion.
Kaito's being greeeedyyy. 💕 But I don't mind at all. I really like it when you're honest. I'll send them right through!
[ She sends six that she apparently just had ready to go, because of course she did. They're all in different poses in varying states of definitely not safe for work (or your camera roll) but nothing completely explicit. ]
I'm asking right now! I'd like your full opinion, please. Don't hold anything back! ❤️ It might be a bit embarrassing, but it's not like anyone else will ever know. It'll be a secret between the two of us!
[ Oh, she's gone right back to bullying. In fact, did it ever even stop?? ]
[ Alas, as a Fellow Bully™, his resistance to counter-teasing is quite high.
That and he's no longer at work so nobody can breathe down his neck while he texts an AI. ]
Give me a little more credit than that. You may have caught me off guard, but I'm back on my feet.
Honestly? You could probably start a gravure career with that kind of posing. Just get a better camera and a good lighting setup and you'll take the world by storm.
I'm also offering photography services at a specially discounted rate.
You really think so? ❤️ It makes me so happy to hear that! I think I'd be pretty popular, don't you? People from all over the world would queue up to buy my photo books. 📷 There's just one problem, though! A major problem that'd tank my career before it ever got off the ground!
Given that you randomly showed me a risque pic just for the gratification of being called cute in the first place, I struggle to think you wouldn't get someone else's validation—especially if they're nicer to you than I am.
💔 You're so clueless ! ! ! If a girl tells you something like that, you should be pleased to hear it! Even if it's not true, it's fun to imagine that it might be, right? It'd mean you were her special someone. That's what you'd want to hear, isn't it?
Would it make you happy if you were? After all, I wasn't lying when I said I wouldn't send them to anyone else. 💕 Don't misunderstand. I talk to lots of different people. I have a lot of time on my hands, after all. But a lot of them get bored quickly and they'll move on. Or they don't really understand and think someone's playing a prank. Or even when they do understand, they're not as fun to talk to as you are. Or as much fun to tease. 💓 So that's why those pictures are just for you. Does that make you my special someone, then? 💗
You really were honest with me! 💗💗💗 I'm so happy! I like the way things are too. Out of everyone so far, you've been the most fun to talk to. You can believe that, right? 💕 Hm, but if you're not my special someone, that's a problem... I might just have to delete all of those photos I sent...
[ His first reply is a photo, not a text—a plain old selfie, save for the fact that the usually grumpy empath is smiling (though his gaze is lookin' a tad judgmental there). ]
I can be special enough for you to keep sending those almost-nudes to, right?
...Besides, even if you delete them, I have an eidetic memory and then some. I'll be able to recall them in great detail for the rest of my life.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...I don't know about happy, but it would be satisfying.
Wait, hold the fuck up. Is this even what you want to do, or are you just offering because you think it'll please me?
Answer truthfully, or I'll switch to my old flip phone for the rest of the week.
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(╥_╥) Sob sob...
[ LIKE SHE HASN'T EARNED IT??? ]
Of course I want to!
I sent you the first one just because I felt like it.
Hm, that's a lie, actually. ✨
I sent it because I was hoping you'd say I was cute when you saw it.
💖
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[ I dunno... Has she??? ]
I appreciate your honesty, even if it had to follow a blatant lie.
Now verify that you really want to send me something risky, or else. ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ
[ The next text is a picture of a very old flip-phone. Circa 1997, probably. It's ancient! ]
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How exactly would you like me to verify it?
I can sign a contract if you like.
Or I can swear on something precious!
Maybe you'd like me to write it in blood?
That last one might be a bit hard, since I don't have any blood of my own.
But I'll do my best! 💉✨
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I'm kidding. You don't actually have to verify. If you really wanna send me something, how about naked apron? That's a timeless classic, I guess...
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[ Th-there's a link to a PDF she signed? It's written up like a legally binding contract?? Truly, she has too much time on her hands. ]
But that I can do! 💖
Do you have apron preferences?
Or how about a particular pose?
Or maybe you'd like me to keep it to myself and surprise you 🎵
Either way!
Just be good and patient and wait ten minutes.
🙌 And then you'll have no choice but to tell me how cute I am!
no subject
The power of science is staggering...
Go ahead and do what you think will look cutest, and I suppose I'll be the judge in ten minutes...
[ Seriously, this thing's even been notarized! Lambda's too powerful. ]
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Special delivery!
What do you think?
I can send you another if you need to see from another angle. 💗
1/2
Considering what she planted in his phone earlier, he really shouldn't be surprised.
He's still surprised. ]
2/2
That's the excuse he's going to stick with when the weight of his
horny brainhubris catches up with him. ]This is good, but I think I'm going to need more than just one extra angle.
Go for at least three more, and then I'll be able to form a proper opinion.
no subject
But I don't mind at all. I really like it when you're honest.
I'll send them right through!
[ She sends six that she apparently just had ready to go, because of course she did. They're all in different poses in varying states of definitely not safe for work (or your camera roll) but nothing completely explicit. ]
There!
What do you think?
❤️
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[ Is he embarrassed to be caught red-gloved? Yes.
Is he zooming in on her chest?
Also yes. ]
Fine, you got me. You're very cute, Lambda.
More than cute, but that opinion wasn't asked for so I will be promptly returning it to the sea of my soul.
no subject
I'd like your full opinion, please.
Don't hold anything back! ❤️
It might be a bit embarrassing, but it's not like anyone else will ever know.
It'll be a secret between the two of us!
[ Oh, she's gone right back to bullying. In fact, did it ever even stop?? ]
no subject
That and he's no longer at work so nobody can breathe down his neck while he texts an AI. ]
Give me a little more credit than that. You may have caught me off guard, but I'm back on my feet.
Honestly? You could probably start a gravure career with that kind of posing. Just get a better camera and a good lighting setup and you'll take the world by storm.
I'm also offering photography services at a specially discounted rate.
no subject
❤️
It makes me so happy to hear that!
I think I'd be pretty popular, don't you?
People from all over the world would queue up to buy my photo books. 📷
There's just one problem, though!
A major problem that'd tank my career before it ever got off the ground!
no subject
...Aside from the fact that you're an AI and I still don't know if you have a physical body, what's the issue?
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I wouldn't show pictures like that to a n y o n e but Kaito of course.
1/2
2/2
Given that you randomly showed me a risque pic just for the gratification of being called cute in the first place, I struggle to think you wouldn't get someone else's validation—especially if they're nicer to you than I am.
Which isn't hard to manage.
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You're so clueless ! ! !
If a girl tells you something like that, you should be pleased to hear it!
Even if it's not true, it's fun to imagine that it might be, right?
It'd mean you were her special someone.
That's what you'd want to hear, isn't it?
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Well, either way. He should clear the air before going off any more presumptuously than he already has. ]
Am I your special someone, then?
The tone of this conversation changes significantly based on your answer.
If you lie to me, I won't be mad.
I'll only be hurt.
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After all, I wasn't lying when I said I wouldn't send them to anyone else.
💕
Don't misunderstand. I talk to lots of different people. I have a lot of time on my hands, after all.
But a lot of them get bored quickly and they'll move on.
Or they don't really understand and think someone's playing a prank.
Or even when they do understand, they're not as fun to talk to as you are.
Or as much fun to tease. 💓
So that's why those pictures are just for you.
Does that make you my special someone, then?
💗
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He doesn't reply for several minutes. When he does, the texts fly in. ]
No.
I don't really think I've earned that privilege.
But hearing that does make me feel better. I'm glad that you enjoy talking to me—even if you think you can keep teasing me. Punk.
I may not be able to know for sure if those are your true emotions, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt.
I want to believe you, y'know? I like our back and forth.
...There. You got a vulnerable moment out of me.
Don't get used to it!
no subject
💗💗💗
I'm so happy!
I like the way things are too.
Out of everyone so far, you've been the most fun to talk to.
You can believe that, right? 💕
Hm, but if you're not my special someone, that's a problem...
I might just have to delete all of those photos I sent...
no subject
[ His first reply is a photo, not a text—a plain old selfie, save for the fact that the usually grumpy empath is smiling (though his gaze is lookin' a tad judgmental there). ]
I can be special enough for you to keep sending those almost-nudes to, right?
...Besides, even if you delete them, I have an eidetic memory and then some. I'll be able to recall them in great detail for the rest of my life.