[ Is she doing the right thing? The whole reason she insisted (yes, insisted) that she keep Kaito in the dark was to give him the choice of living life unencumbered by the weight of all those promises she made to him. This was his second chance; she wasn't going to hold him back from a shot at happiness. Hibiki would not let her own wants dictate how the pieces in this work of art fall into place.
She might regret this later, but she knows she heard him, his voice cutting through that howling storm of doubt and trepidation in her mind like it always did. That look in his eyes, faint but strong seals her fate, and as Hibiki exhales, she leads him by the hand toward the couch. Funny how he always seemed to be the one reaching for her to keep him steady like this when she was the one who was terrified of being alone.
(Don't disappear on me. I can't lose you too.)
Sitting down, she won't force him to do the same. She probably doesn't have to, but even if he decides to keep standing, Hibiki doesn't let go. ]
I should probably start by apologizing, for keeping you in the dark. I didn't want to somehow influence how you felt about some person you couldn't remember. I'm still not sure if telling you everything is the right answer, but let's start here.
That white noise? I'm pretty sure that's because of me.
Kaito isn't sure why that thought flashes across his mind, but he agrees, and so he follows her stride without question. He sits when she does. Their minds are in accord. No letting go.
What follows is a deep frown as the empath tries to make sense of her admission. Brows furrow and golds search blues as if he'll find the answer there. He doesn't, so eventually... ]
Why would it be your fault? I know you're not out to get me too, and if you were, you've done a real damn good job of making me vulnerable.
[ It's half-joke, half-perplexion. ]
Are you okay? Is something happening to you that might be spreading to others? Or... spreading just to me?
[ Of all the conclusions he could possibly jump to, somehow potential contagion wasn't on the list. The fact that he seems more concerned with her rather than himself shouldn't surprise her at this point. They really are way too similar.
After a fluttered blink, Hibiki holds her free hand out, waving it dismissively with a brief, forced smile. ]
No, no, I'm totally fine! And so is everybody else as far as I know.
[ She's making this more confusing than it is, which is a feat in and of itself, considering what she's talking about. Lowering her free hand and letting it rest in her lap, her smile fades. Her gaze slips away as she briefly presses her lips together, brows furrowed as she chooses her words carefully.
You've worked so hard to keep from letting their past relationship tie him down. A second chance... this is supposed to be a second chance. ]
I'm not sure how much you remember about where you were before showing up here in Crane City. Not Shibuya, but the place between your life there and now. It was a horrible place; a literal Hell where your darkest insecurities and fears were weaponized against you by a Shadow living in your head. The longer you were there, the harder it was to tune it out and stay in control.
[ Does she realize her fingers anxiously fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt? Probably not. Is it out of worry for how Kaito will react or a genuine trauma response as she recalls her time in the Netherworld? Hard to say. Likely both. ]
The way to fight against that and keep someone's Shadow at bay is through a Soulbond. [ She pauses briefly. How to explain... ] Basically, the two people bonded together are linked telepathically and empathically, and their presence can drown out the other person's Shadow.
...You and I were linked while we were there. That's probably why there's static up there.
[ Kaito listens attentively, but every sentence leads to mounting confusion. An life between Shibuya and Crane City...
Sure, Hibiki had mentioned that their paths had crossed in past, inaccesible memories, but an entire life? An unlife???
...Wait— ]
So you're saying we... [ A beat. He points to her heart before tapping his own. ]
It's weird. That's absolutely absurd yet completely realistic for what I've witnessed throughout my life. Well, the Shibuya life. I don't know how I could possibly be so out of control of my own psyche that I would dare expose myself like that to another person, and yet...
[ He squeezes her hand again, pulling it close to his chest. ]
I believe you. I don't know if that's the exact reason why my head's so full of fog, but it's as good a start as any.
[ Without his memories of his time in the Netherworld, Kaito has no reason to take anything that she says as fact. Especially when she has done everything she can to keep herself from filling in the blanks for him. As he points to her before drawing that hypothetical line back to him, Hibiki nods silently before focusing her gaze toward her unknowing partner.
Normally Hibiki would doubt herself in situations like this, worrying that she's said too much. She still does to some degree. But he's never let her fall; he's always trusted her in spite of everything they've been through. And for once, she has faith that he'll do the same, memories or not.
Squeezing his hand in response, she quietly exhales before mustering the best smile she can. ]
I wish I knew. I'd do everything I could to help you clear that fog if I did. It might not have anything to do with that connection between us. [ Just say 'Soulmates,' Hibiki. Dodging around it feels awkward. ]
Honestly, I assumed it had been severed after leaving that place, since I haven't heard you or my Shadow's voice in my head since I got here.
[ ...But then what was that text box she saw that day when they reunited? She hadn't tried to reach out to Kaito when that happened and hadn't given it much thought after the fact. That was just a glitch, right..? ]
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no subject
She might regret this later, but she knows she heard him, his voice cutting through that howling storm of doubt and trepidation in her mind like it always did. That look in his eyes, faint but strong seals her fate, and as Hibiki exhales, she leads him by the hand toward the couch. Funny how he always seemed to be the one reaching for her to keep him steady like this when she was the one who was terrified of being alone.
(Don't disappear on me. I can't lose you too.)
Sitting down, she won't force him to do the same. She probably doesn't have to, but even if he decides to keep standing, Hibiki doesn't let go. ]
I should probably start by apologizing, for keeping you in the dark. I didn't want to somehow influence how you felt about some person you couldn't remember. I'm still not sure if telling you everything is the right answer, but let's start here.
That white noise? I'm pretty sure that's because of me.
no subject
Kaito isn't sure why that thought flashes across his mind, but he agrees, and so he follows her stride without question. He sits when she does. Their minds are in accord. No letting go.
What follows is a deep frown as the empath tries to make sense of her admission. Brows furrow and golds search blues as if he'll find the answer there. He doesn't, so eventually... ]
Why would it be your fault? I know you're not out to get me too, and if you were, you've done a real damn good job of making me vulnerable.
[ It's half-joke, half-perplexion. ]
Are you okay? Is something happening to you that might be spreading to others? Or... spreading just to me?
no subject
After a fluttered blink, Hibiki holds her free hand out, waving it dismissively with a brief, forced smile. ]
No, no, I'm totally fine! And so is everybody else as far as I know.
[ She's making this more confusing than it is, which is a feat in and of itself, considering what she's talking about. Lowering her free hand and letting it rest in her lap, her smile fades. Her gaze slips away as she briefly presses her lips together, brows furrowed as she chooses her words carefully.
You've worked so hard to keep from letting their past relationship tie him down. A second chance... this is supposed to be a second chance. ]
I'm not sure how much you remember about where you were before showing up here in Crane City. Not Shibuya, but the place between your life there and now. It was a horrible place; a literal Hell where your darkest insecurities and fears were weaponized against you by a Shadow living in your head. The longer you were there, the harder it was to tune it out and stay in control.
[ Does she realize her fingers anxiously fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt? Probably not. Is it out of worry for how Kaito will react or a genuine trauma response as she recalls her time in the Netherworld? Hard to say. Likely both. ]
The way to fight against that and keep someone's Shadow at bay is through a Soulbond. [ She pauses briefly. How to explain... ] Basically, the two people bonded together are linked telepathically and empathically, and their presence can drown out the other person's Shadow.
...You and I were linked while we were there. That's probably why there's static up there.
no subject
Sure, Hibiki had mentioned that their paths had crossed in past, inaccesible memories, but an entire life? An unlife???
...Wait— ]
So you're saying we... [ A beat. He points to her heart before tapping his own. ]
It's weird. That's absolutely absurd yet completely realistic for what I've witnessed throughout my life. Well, the Shibuya life. I don't know how I could possibly be so out of control of my own psyche that I would dare expose myself like that to another person, and yet...
[ He squeezes her hand again, pulling it close to his chest. ]
I believe you. I don't know if that's the exact reason why my head's so full of fog, but it's as good a start as any.
...But now what?
no subject
Normally Hibiki would doubt herself in situations like this, worrying that she's said too much. She still does to some degree. But he's never let her fall; he's always trusted her in spite of everything they've been through. And for once, she has faith that he'll do the same, memories or not.
Squeezing his hand in response, she quietly exhales before mustering the best smile she can. ]
I wish I knew. I'd do everything I could to help you clear that fog if I did. It might not have anything to do with that connection between us. [ Just say 'Soulmates,' Hibiki. Dodging around it feels awkward. ]
Honestly, I assumed it had been severed after leaving that place, since I haven't heard you or my Shadow's voice in my head since I got here.
[ ...But then what was that text box she saw that day when they reunited? She hadn't tried to reach out to Kaito when that happened and hadn't given it much thought after the fact. That was just a glitch, right..? ]