[ Look, she needs to make money somehow, the glam end game is expensive! ]
I'll have to more often now that I know it works ( ╹▽╹ )
oof. been there, my condolences...... and it's probably better if I show you rather than tell. that way I can get your honest and unbiased opinion got some time to kill?
[ Which happens almost immediately after she hits send. Did he sprint down the hall? Huh. Buttering him up really works. Opening the door, her apron still on, she greets him with a grin. The smell of coffee and something vaguely sweet wafts into the hallway. ]
[ Truth be told, he teleported part of the way through. Gotta keep his skills at least somewhat practiced. The rest was definitely a sprint, though. Kaito hangs his head to catch his breath before he glances up with mirth in his eyes. They're caught between blue and gold as his latent magic ebbs away. ]
Geez. That makes it sound like I was so eager to see you.
[ He probably was, and she probably knows better than he does in this moment. Kaito slips by, sniffing and grinning. ]
What sorcery have you been brewing in there? It smells nice.
[ ...Don't give her that look, Kaito, that's dangerous. Unless he doesn't want her to keep adhering to the self-imposed rules of this "game" she's playing. At least he gets an equally bright grin for his trouble. ]
Coffee magic.
[ Said without skipping a beat. ]
I found something online that I've been wanting to try, so I just made it myself. I'm no pro or anything, so I thought I'd call in the most qualified person I know for their opinion and possible advice. That and it's way too quiet here.
[ Oh no. Why does that grin make him feel so much lighter?
Oh. Right. Coffee magic. ]
Pfft.
Let's see it, then. I can't guarantee top-notch results when it comes to coffee and sweet things, but I can at the very least taste test for you. What did you make?
[ Kaito glances down at the... confection? Concoction? Gelatin????
Once he takes his mug, he gives the piece of Unknown Substance A a little poke. It jiggles. He's utterly mesmerized by how little he knows about what he's about to put in his face hole. ]
...Huh. For once, I have absolutely no idea what I'm about to eat. That doesn't happen super often these days.
Bottoms up.
[ And without hesitation, he takes a sip and slorps up one of the... cheese pieces??? ]
[ Thank you for being the first one to take the plunge and give this creation a taste. Hibiki watches him intently as he pokes at his drink, trying to gauge his reaction.
And uh. It doesn't seem good. She smiles hesitantly. ]
Technically!
[ ... ]
I mean, it is cheese, but not the type you'd have with this kind of coffee. They don't really sell reindeer milk around here, so I had to improvise.
[ Kaito takes in all this information. He's not quite aware enough of Swedish food to put all the pieces together, but mentioning reindeer does help him to triangulate things. Europe...
Eventually, he reaches out, plucks a spoon, and scoops another piece of cheese into his coffee. There are no words, just patient waiting for the glob to soak before he takes another sip and bite. ]
...
It's nice, actually. Pretty mild as far as sweetness goes.
I don't really have a reference point for how this dish should taste... but I like it.
[ Kaito shifts the mug down and away from his face, smiling. Before the words even leave his mouth, they'll both feel something resonate in their minds. ]
Honestly, you've always been the better brewer between us. Shouldn't I defer to you in this case?
[ As if the words were not only heard, but felt.
Though, Kaito doesn't seem to react to the sensation at all. ]
[ Fully ready to launch into an explanation of how well coffee and cheese pair with one another, Hibiki is instead hit with with a one-two punch from her partner. A warm smile, and the familiar feeling transferred between two souls once (and possibly still) linked.
Her own mug lifted to her lips, hope and mild panic keep it there as she tries to keep herself from reaching for something she assumes isn't there. Never mind that she's dealing with an empath here, that's the furthest from her mind, even as she sets her mug down with a wistful smile. ]
If I was still working with what I had back then, maybe. I'm kinda jealous you don't remember what that coffee tasted like, I feel like it's been imprinted on my soul.
[ It isn't breaking the rules if he initiates here, right? ]
And just because I make a good cup of coffee for me doesn't mean it'll taste good to somebody else. I'm really glad you like it.
...I really like it, [ Kaito murmurs, nigh inaudible.
It takes him a few moments and her sudden storm of emotions to catch up. To realize that something is echoing in his mind that had never been present before.
Or, perhaps more accurately, something that has been sleeping for so long is finally beginning to stir.
Either way, he smiles—and yes, he's initiating. So he has no problem reaching out to take her empty hand in gloved fingers and squeeze. ]
I've been struggling a lot with these conflicting memories lately, actually. Between my life and the life here, and with the reappearance of someone significant from this city history, I'm starting to wonder what I can believe.
So... I think it'd be okay if a third party came in to soundly, definitively say that its memories are real.
[ Golds alight with warmth have been averting their gaze throughout that entire reply, but he finally finds the strength to set them on hers. ]
Not to be presumptuous, but I get the feeling you might have been struggling with the same thoughts, as of late.
[ She doesn't pull away when he takes her hand, fingers effortlessly threading between his like it's the most natural thing in the world. Is she being selfish? Absolutely. But Hibiki gets the impression that he's willing to indulge her on that right now.
With a quiet sigh, she nods as she meets his gaze. ]
I wish I could say I didn't have experience in that kind of thing. Having a hard time keeping track of what's real and what isn't. Let's say... it's something that runs in my family, so I know how to deal with it. Kind of.
[ She isn't going to let herself lose touch with the reality that's waiting for her back home, with what she has to do. Her mother's curse won't hit a second time. ]
Doesn't make it any better, especially when your supposed ex suddenly shows up out of nowhere.
[ No big deal. Anyway. ]
If you want, you can run something by me and I can tell you if I remember it or not. It might be a little limited, but maybe I can help you sort some things out.
[ Kaito takes stock of every little shift in her emotions as she speaks. It's habit, and even though his senses aren't nearly as sharp as they usually are, he can hear the forlorn echoes in her words.
He wants to hold her tighter. The only thing that stops him is the promise they both made, to let things fall into place naturally.
What's his hand doing linked with hers, then? Or... is that their natural? In the end, he offers her an emphatic squeeze. ]
That... sucks. But I'm with you. My empathic abilities... They've always made it a challenge to tell which emotions are mine and which are trying to usurp mine. [ He shakes his head. ]
...You too, huh? For me, she's my childhood friend, my first romance, and...
[ His features fall, and he squeezes her hand tighter. ]
She's the heiress to the family that almost killed mine. All in this world. And I only recalled these exact memories a few weeks ago.
[ Kaito looses a terse sigh he didn't realize he was holding in. His mug is lifted to his lips, and he drains the coffee out before settling it on the nearby table.
Golds lock to blue-grays. He opts to move on. ]
—Did I ever tell you about my son?
[ There. It's vague. It's safe.
Tango doesn't exist in Crane City. Whatever her answer, it'll help him reorganize these memories that have begun to clash with one another. ]
[ She doesn't seem to notice how melancholic that thought makes her feel. It's easy for her to forget how emotionally devastating that time in her life was, especially now with other memories trying to supersede what she knows was real. Hibiki doesn't realize he can still see right through her to that past trauma, but if Kaito tried to hold her close, she wouldn't stop him. Promises be damned. ]
How were you able to tell the difference? I know that memories are different, but I'll take any advice you've got. [ She pauses briefly. ] I've been writing everything down myself. Everything I remember from before coming here, and the memories that have come after. That way I have a record, just in case.
[ She is just as happy to let Kaito do some of the talking when it comes to previous relationships. Childhood sweethearts, cute--until it very immediately isn't. Blinking rapidly as she tries to process the whole mob plot he's thrown on the table, she offers him a sympathetic, slightly incredulous look. ]
I'm sorry, she what? Kaito, I swear, whatever writer they hired to write your backstory here is clearly having the time of their life here. We can talk about Tango in a sec, but are you okay?
[ Yeah, "this ain't about Tango right now" probably won't go well. At least Kaito knows they talked about him? ]
[ Honestly, if not for the fact that he had his gloves on, he may very well have actually seen everything. It's good that both his glove and the nerf to his empathy are in place, or holding Hibiki's hand would be a much greater inconvenience than comfort in this moment.
At her question, he shakes his head. ]
It's hard to describe. With regards to my emotions, I feel like I'm holding onto a balloon in a hurricane. There's debris everywhere, and the noise drowns out my own voice. But I have to hold onto that balloon, or I'll be swept away into the storm.
That's about as good as an analogy as I can provide. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate all that well to keeping my sets of memories separate. Rather than a balloon in a hurricane, it's like watching two rivers meet in a lake. As the bowl slowly fills, the waters are bound to mix and mingle until one becomes indistinguishable from the other.
[ Kaito looks away. He has yet to release her hand. In fact, he's holding on tighter than ever, to the point that his fingers are starting to quiver. His next words come out in the quietest of murmurs, but Hibiki will hear them loud and clear in her mind, like a gale cutting through mist. ]
...If only I had an anchor...
[ But just as quickly as the wind comes, it dissolves—leaving Kaito to nervously scratch at the back of his neck with his free hand.
Uh oh. His identity as a Noodle Gangster is still supposed to be secret. Idiot. Just because she's your Soulmate— ]
...I like books and I like stories, but talking about how ridiculously mine is written isn't the point right now. Besides, my real life back in Shibuya was way crazier than this.
[ For someone who has the horrible habit of talking too much, Hibiki remains silent as he speaks. He has her full, undivided attention as storm-colored eyes take in everything, from the way he holds himself to any shifts in his gaze. But what's most telling is the way that he clings to her, like... well.
Like an anchor. What he needs the most right now, lest he be pushed further out into dark, uncharted waters. ]
...Hey.
[ And even if he doesn't remember, she isn't going to let that happen again. Squeezing his hand tight, she places her other hand on top, tilting her head in an effort to catch his gaze once more. Come on, look at her. It's okay. She isn't going to let him go anywhere.
But she won't let him change the subject either. Soulmate privileges. ]
I know we promised to let things happen as they happen, but do you mind if I cheat a little bit? It'll probably explain how I know about Tango too. And if it doesn't, I'll give you that one as a freebie.
Kaito's thoughts screech to a halt. For the first time tonight, and maybe the first time since they've started (re)connecting, he hears it. He hears her. The warmth of her hands bleeding through his glove seep into his skin and spread all over his senses.
He'd been grasping her hand so tightly, like it was natural, but Kaito never once thought about why he was holding on. Standing here like this, he wonders if he's come to a realization... or if he's remembered.
Quietly, he murmurs. ]
I...
I'll allow it. I don't mind.
Honestly, I should have just... asked from the start.
[ His free hand taps at his temple, and he huffs a sheepish chuckle. ]
But this has been full of a lot of white noise since I woke up in Crane City. And it's only getting worse. So...
[ He squeezes in turn, finally focusing golds on stormy blues. The look he meets her with is neutral, but that barely-hidden yearning is probably all too clear to see for the blonde.
[ Is she doing the right thing? The whole reason she insisted (yes, insisted) that she keep Kaito in the dark was to give him the choice of living life unencumbered by the weight of all those promises she made to him. This was his second chance; she wasn't going to hold him back from a shot at happiness. Hibiki would not let her own wants dictate how the pieces in this work of art fall into place.
She might regret this later, but she knows she heard him, his voice cutting through that howling storm of doubt and trepidation in her mind like it always did. That look in his eyes, faint but strong seals her fate, and as Hibiki exhales, she leads him by the hand toward the couch. Funny how he always seemed to be the one reaching for her to keep him steady like this when she was the one who was terrified of being alone.
(Don't disappear on me. I can't lose you too.)
Sitting down, she won't force him to do the same. She probably doesn't have to, but even if he decides to keep standing, Hibiki doesn't let go. ]
I should probably start by apologizing, for keeping you in the dark. I didn't want to somehow influence how you felt about some person you couldn't remember. I'm still not sure if telling you everything is the right answer, but let's start here.
That white noise? I'm pretty sure that's because of me.
Kaito isn't sure why that thought flashes across his mind, but he agrees, and so he follows her stride without question. He sits when she does. Their minds are in accord. No letting go.
What follows is a deep frown as the empath tries to make sense of her admission. Brows furrow and golds search blues as if he'll find the answer there. He doesn't, so eventually... ]
Why would it be your fault? I know you're not out to get me too, and if you were, you've done a real damn good job of making me vulnerable.
[ It's half-joke, half-perplexion. ]
Are you okay? Is something happening to you that might be spreading to others? Or... spreading just to me?
[ Of all the conclusions he could possibly jump to, somehow potential contagion wasn't on the list. The fact that he seems more concerned with her rather than himself shouldn't surprise her at this point. They really are way too similar.
After a fluttered blink, Hibiki holds her free hand out, waving it dismissively with a brief, forced smile. ]
No, no, I'm totally fine! And so is everybody else as far as I know.
[ She's making this more confusing than it is, which is a feat in and of itself, considering what she's talking about. Lowering her free hand and letting it rest in her lap, her smile fades. Her gaze slips away as she briefly presses her lips together, brows furrowed as she chooses her words carefully.
You've worked so hard to keep from letting their past relationship tie him down. A second chance... this is supposed to be a second chance. ]
I'm not sure how much you remember about where you were before showing up here in Crane City. Not Shibuya, but the place between your life there and now. It was a horrible place; a literal Hell where your darkest insecurities and fears were weaponized against you by a Shadow living in your head. The longer you were there, the harder it was to tune it out and stay in control.
[ Does she realize her fingers anxiously fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt? Probably not. Is it out of worry for how Kaito will react or a genuine trauma response as she recalls her time in the Netherworld? Hard to say. Likely both. ]
The way to fight against that and keep someone's Shadow at bay is through a Soulbond. [ She pauses briefly. How to explain... ] Basically, the two people bonded together are linked telepathically and empathically, and their presence can drown out the other person's Shadow.
...You and I were linked while we were there. That's probably why there's static up there.
[ Kaito listens attentively, but every sentence leads to mounting confusion. An life between Shibuya and Crane City...
Sure, Hibiki had mentioned that their paths had crossed in past, inaccesible memories, but an entire life? An unlife???
...Wait— ]
So you're saying we... [ A beat. He points to her heart before tapping his own. ]
It's weird. That's absolutely absurd yet completely realistic for what I've witnessed throughout my life. Well, the Shibuya life. I don't know how I could possibly be so out of control of my own psyche that I would dare expose myself like that to another person, and yet...
[ He squeezes her hand again, pulling it close to his chest. ]
I believe you. I don't know if that's the exact reason why my head's so full of fog, but it's as good a start as any.
[ Without his memories of his time in the Netherworld, Kaito has no reason to take anything that she says as fact. Especially when she has done everything she can to keep herself from filling in the blanks for him. As he points to her before drawing that hypothetical line back to him, Hibiki nods silently before focusing her gaze toward her unknowing partner.
Normally Hibiki would doubt herself in situations like this, worrying that she's said too much. She still does to some degree. But he's never let her fall; he's always trusted her in spite of everything they've been through. And for once, she has faith that he'll do the same, memories or not.
Squeezing his hand in response, she quietly exhales before mustering the best smile she can. ]
I wish I knew. I'd do everything I could to help you clear that fog if I did. It might not have anything to do with that connection between us. [ Just say 'Soulmates,' Hibiki. Dodging around it feels awkward. ]
Honestly, I assumed it had been severed after leaving that place, since I haven't heard you or my Shadow's voice in my head since I got here.
[ ...But then what was that text box she saw that day when they reunited? She hadn't tried to reach out to Kaito when that happened and hadn't given it much thought after the fact. That was just a glitch, right..? ]
[ it's a number that Kaito rarely gets messages from these days — not that he ever heard from Ruby a great deal even when they were engaged. now, she's even less sure of how to deal with him. he's never seemed to have any memory of the Netherworld, and so she's only ever had this third lifetime to go by in their interactions, which leaves her unable to play the clueless, cheerful princess card. she has to abide by the version of her that he remembers.
for the most part, she's just tried to keep her distance, figuring that he's better off as far from her and her shitty family as possible, but... the Borgias had a history of ruining families after they annulled the marriage. the Amato family should have forgotten about Kaito Nagano entirely; she's just not confident her son of a bitch older brothers wouldn't go back and mess with him for the hell of it. ]
[ Kaito makes a face at his phone, unsure as to whether it was actually Ruby texting him or one of her punkass brothers trying to fuck with him again. The Naganos weren't most families, after all—even if their reputation was predicated on Not Actually Being Yakuza, the members of the clan were just as vicious as the real deal when it came to protecting their patriarch.
Well, that's what he remembers from the false memories. It doesn't help that he's recently reawakened to even more memories: specifically, his time in the Netherworld. Among so many other residents of Crane City, the blonde heiress (or rather, princess) was among those he had spent more time hanging around during his unlife.
In any case, he's happy to keep that bit of information tucked away for now. Always the secretive sort. ]
The empire's machine remains well-oiled. [ Seeing as she's one of the few who knows the true nature of his OFFline world's identity, he doesn't mind speaking frankly. ]
I'd appreciate if your brothers kept their harassment to business hours, but, well. We couldn't control them if we tried, right? Are you well?
[ ah, damn it. that's exactly what she didn't want to hear. ]
Yes, I'm fine. I'm really, really sorry about them. My parents have moved on now that I have a new fiancé, so I hoped my brothers would forget about it too. There isn't anything I can do about it... But as long as you stay away from me, they'll stop trying to harass you sooner or later.
So... What you're really saying is that if I beat their asses hard enough, they'll piss off?
I've been keeping the fighting to a minimum so as not to bring you any negative attention, y'know. But I can always take the gloves off. Just say the word.
[ Where in any of that is he saying he'll stay away from her???? ]
Tsk. Okay, okay. I guess we aren't kids anymore. Things were a lot easier back when might made right.
[ "Might makes right!"
It was a common catchphrase for the delinquents living in the Batata District's slummy streets. And Kaito was their delinquent prince, back in the day. ]
...I still can't get used to how naturally these fabricated memories come to mind, y'know. How do you deal with it all?
I don't find it too difficult... Well, it's mostly because I don't want to cause trouble, so I do my best to keep things the same. It's like... when I'm offline, it's "her" life, and I'm me when I'm online?
💧 Bah. I'm me either way, fake history or not. The offline world basically wrote me into the most troublemaking, trouble-attracting antihero type. What the hell even is a noodle gangster?
Well, I guess it's better than some manhwas I've read.
[ Yeah, well, you haven't spent three lives contorting yourself to fit somebody else's expectations. ]
Yes, both the offline and online world here are a little... contrived. Tropey? Is that the word? I wouldn't have noticed without the fake memories, since that's not really a concept that existed in my time. Not quite like that, at least.
Back home? Well... That's a tricky question. I miss it, of course, but I'm also not sure if it's ever possible for me to go back.
[ she might just be executed, if she did. even if she weren't, there's no way that her relationship with Iske can be salvaged. they never figured out if they were actually dead in the Netherworld, either... ]
I've made some very dear friends since then, too. I would hate to lose them. So, if it was a choice between here or there... I'm not entirely sure, but I might choose here?
[ not that she really wants this mundane fucking nightmare again. it would have been nice if they had just reincarnated from the Netherworld as completely new people. ]
[ Kaito looks at his phone for a few seconds, contemplating. In the end, he just sighs and reclines further in his chair. ]
You make me really curious, y'know that? Not that I can't imagine anyone would choose this realistic fabrication over their home worlds, but... Nevermind that. I'm not trying to pry this time.
I guess circumstances will always be different for different people. The one thing that makes it impossible for me to settle into this life is the look my mother gives me whenever we're alone at home. It's like she knows that I don't belong here. That I'm Kaito, but not her son. Every time we lock eyes, I remember that I have to go home and find her for real.
[ A solid minute passes between that hefty admission and his next message. ]
Maybe I'll learn how to cross between worlds. It can't be that hard, right? After all, someone dragged all of us from across the multiverse to live here and play video games. If I learn to do the same, then I don't have to choose. I can just keep in touch with everyone. Do you think that's stupid?
[ breezing past both his curiosity, as well as his remarks about his own fake family, since that would naturally lead to a situation where she's expected to share her own feelings— ]
Of course not! I think that's a very admirable desire.
[ huuu, and she's automatically slipping into the airheaded princess act, since she associates Kaito with the Netherworld. she's been the honour student and the idiot in two different lives, but it's hard to juggle both at once. this is exactly why she hates it when her relationships in the ON and OFF worlds cross over. ]
The rumour is that there's supposed to be some wish-granting power in this world, right? That seems like the perfect use of it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
un: cantilena
your culinary expertise is requested
nay REQUIRED
will you heed the call?!
text ↪ un: just.a.chef
Y...es?
Am I really a master chef?
[ Okay, real talk. He just failed five high-level crafts in a row in-game and this message is more than a bit of a pick-me-up for him. ]
text ↪ un: cantilena
absolutely!!
you might not remember but I've seen you work magic with basically nothing
I don't just hand out that title to just anybody you know!
anyway what are you doing I need your professional opinion
no subject
Geez. Butter me up some more with those memories I haven't regained, why don't you. [ Can she hear the fondness in his words? ]
I just logged out after burning most of my weekly allowance on botched crafts.
What's up?
no subject
I'll have to more often now that I know it works ( ╹▽╹ )
oof. been there, my condolences......
and it's probably better if I show you rather than tell. that way I can get your honest and unbiased opinion
got some time to kill?
no subject
I can fit you into my busy schedule. Where should we meet?
no subject
we can meet at my place. that way I can make sure it stays fresh
I'm in swallow suite
text > action
[ He leaves right after sending that, and regardless of any answers, there's a knock on Hibiki's suite door two minutes later. ]
no subject
[ Which happens almost immediately after she hits send. Did he sprint down the hall? Huh. Buttering him up really works. Opening the door, her apron still on, she greets him with a grin. The smell of coffee and something vaguely sweet wafts into the hallway. ]
Couldn't wait, huh?
[ She steps to the side to let him in. ]
no subject
Geez. That makes it sound like I was so eager to see you.
[ He probably was, and she probably knows better than he does in this moment. Kaito slips by, sniffing and grinning. ]
What sorcery have you been brewing in there? It smells nice.
no subject
Coffee magic.
[ Said without skipping a beat. ]
I found something online that I've been wanting to try, so I just made it myself. I'm no pro or anything, so I thought I'd call in the most qualified person I know for their opinion and possible advice. That and it's way too quiet here.
no subject
Oh. Right. Coffee magic. ]
Pfft.
Let's see it, then. I can't guarantee top-notch results when it comes to coffee and sweet things, but I can at the very least taste test for you. What did you make?
no subject
Leading him into the dining area, she pulls out two mugs before unwrapping something and scooping something that looks like browned tofu into both. ]
It's not supposed to be that sweet, but we'll see how it turned out.
[ Pouring coffee in both mugs, she offers a mug filled with the odd-looking concoction out to him. ]
I wasn't able to find all the ingredients so I had to make do.
no subject
Once he takes his mug, he gives the piece of Unknown Substance A a little poke. It jiggles. He's utterly mesmerized by how little he knows about what he's about to put in his face hole. ]
...Huh. For once, I have absolutely no idea what I'm about to eat. That doesn't happen super often these days.
Bottoms up.
[ And without hesitation, he takes a sip and slorps up one of the... cheese pieces??? ]
...
.....
......
Hibiki, is this supposed to be cheese?
no subject
And uh. It doesn't seem good. She smiles hesitantly. ]
Technically!
[ ... ]
I mean, it is cheese, but not the type you'd have with this kind of coffee. They don't really sell reindeer milk around here, so I had to improvise.
no subject
Eventually, he reaches out, plucks a spoon, and scoops another piece of cheese into his coffee. There are no words, just patient waiting for the glob to soak before he takes another sip and bite. ]
...
It's nice, actually. Pretty mild as far as sweetness goes.
I don't really have a reference point for how this dish should taste... but I like it.
[ Kaito shifts the mug down and away from his face, smiling. Before the words even leave his mouth, they'll both feel something resonate in their minds. ]
Honestly, you've always been the better brewer between us. Shouldn't I defer to you in this case?
[ As if the words were not only heard, but felt.
Though, Kaito doesn't seem to react to the sensation at all. ]
no subject
Her own mug lifted to her lips, hope and mild panic keep it there as she tries to keep herself from reaching for something she assumes isn't there. Never mind that she's dealing with an empath here, that's the furthest from her mind, even as she sets her mug down with a wistful smile. ]
If I was still working with what I had back then, maybe. I'm kinda jealous you don't remember what that coffee tasted like, I feel like it's been imprinted on my soul.
[ It isn't breaking the rules if he initiates here, right? ]
And just because I make a good cup of coffee for me doesn't mean it'll taste good to somebody else. I'm really glad you like it.
no subject
It takes him a few moments and her sudden storm of emotions to catch up. To realize that something is echoing in his mind that had never been present before.
Or, perhaps more accurately, something that has been sleeping for so long is finally beginning to stir.
Either way, he smiles—and yes, he's initiating. So he has no problem reaching out to take her empty hand in gloved fingers and squeeze. ]
I've been struggling a lot with these conflicting memories lately, actually. Between my life and the life here, and with the reappearance of someone significant from this city history, I'm starting to wonder what I can believe.
So... I think it'd be okay if a third party came in to soundly, definitively say that its memories are real.
[ Golds alight with warmth have been averting their gaze throughout that entire reply, but he finally finds the strength to set them on hers. ]
Not to be presumptuous, but I get the feeling you might have been struggling with the same thoughts, as of late.
no subject
With a quiet sigh, she nods as she meets his gaze. ]
I wish I could say I didn't have experience in that kind of thing. Having a hard time keeping track of what's real and what isn't. Let's say... it's something that runs in my family, so I know how to deal with it. Kind of.
[ She isn't going to let herself lose touch with the reality that's waiting for her back home, with what she has to do. Her mother's curse won't hit a second time. ]
Doesn't make it any better, especially when your supposed ex suddenly shows up out of nowhere.
[ No big deal. Anyway. ]
If you want, you can run something by me and I can tell you if I remember it or not. It might be a little limited, but maybe I can help you sort some things out.
no subject
He wants to hold her tighter. The only thing that stops him is the promise they both made, to let things fall into place naturally.
What's his hand doing linked with hers, then? Or... is that their natural? In the end, he offers her an emphatic squeeze. ]
That... sucks. But I'm with you. My empathic abilities... They've always made it a challenge to tell which emotions are mine and which are trying to usurp mine. [ He shakes his head. ]
...You too, huh? For me, she's my childhood friend, my first romance, and...
[ His features fall, and he squeezes her hand tighter. ]
She's the heiress to the family that almost killed mine. All in this world. And I only recalled these exact memories a few weeks ago.
[ Kaito looses a terse sigh he didn't realize he was holding in. His mug is lifted to his lips, and he drains the coffee out before settling it on the nearby table.
Golds lock to blue-grays. He opts to move on. ]
—Did I ever tell you about my son?
[ There. It's vague. It's safe.
Tango doesn't exist in Crane City. Whatever her answer, it'll help him reorganize these memories that have begun to clash with one another. ]
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How were you able to tell the difference? I know that memories are different, but I'll take any advice you've got. [ She pauses briefly. ] I've been writing everything down myself. Everything I remember from before coming here, and the memories that have come after. That way I have a record, just in case.
[ She is just as happy to let Kaito do some of the talking when it comes to previous relationships. Childhood sweethearts, cute--until it very immediately isn't. Blinking rapidly as she tries to process the whole mob plot he's thrown on the table, she offers him a sympathetic, slightly incredulous look. ]
I'm sorry, she what? Kaito, I swear, whatever writer they hired to write your backstory here is clearly having the time of their life here. We can talk about Tango in a sec, but are you okay?
[ Yeah, "this ain't about Tango right now" probably won't go well. At least Kaito knows they talked about him? ]
1/2
At her question, he shakes his head. ]
It's hard to describe. With regards to my emotions, I feel like I'm holding onto a balloon in a hurricane. There's debris everywhere, and the noise drowns out my own voice. But I have to hold onto that balloon, or I'll be swept away into the storm.
That's about as good as an analogy as I can provide. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate all that well to keeping my sets of memories separate. Rather than a balloon in a hurricane, it's like watching two rivers meet in a lake. As the bowl slowly fills, the waters are bound to mix and mingle until one becomes indistinguishable from the other.
[ Kaito looks away. He has yet to release her hand. In fact, he's holding on tighter than ever, to the point that his fingers are starting to quiver. His next words come out in the quietest of murmurs, but Hibiki will hear them loud and clear in her mind, like a gale cutting through mist. ]
...If only I had an anchor...
[ But just as quickly as the wind comes, it dissolves—leaving Kaito to nervously scratch at the back of his neck with his free hand.
Uh oh. His identity as a Noodle Gangster is still supposed to be secret. Idiot. Just because she's your Soulmate— ]
2/2
This is just... more melodramatic.
[ A beat. Golds widen in realization. ]
Wait.
You mentioned Tango.
You know him?
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Like an anchor. What he needs the most right now, lest he be pushed further out into dark, uncharted waters. ]
...Hey.
[ And even if he doesn't remember, she isn't going to let that happen again. Squeezing his hand tight, she places her other hand on top, tilting her head in an effort to catch his gaze once more. Come on, look at her. It's okay. She isn't going to let him go anywhere.
But she won't let him change the subject either. Soulmate privileges. ]
I know we promised to let things happen as they happen, but do you mind if I cheat a little bit? It'll probably explain how I know about Tango too. And if it doesn't, I'll give you that one as a freebie.
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Kaito's thoughts screech to a halt. For the first time tonight, and maybe the first time since they've started (re)connecting, he hears it. He hears her. The warmth of her hands bleeding through his glove seep into his skin and spread all over his senses.
He'd been grasping her hand so tightly, like it was natural, but Kaito never once thought about why he was holding on. Standing here like this, he wonders if he's come to a realization... or if he's remembered.
Quietly, he murmurs. ]
I...
I'll allow it. I don't mind.
Honestly, I should have just... asked from the start.
[ His free hand taps at his temple, and he huffs a sheepish chuckle. ]
But this has been full of a lot of white noise since I woke up in Crane City. And it's only getting worse. So...
[ He squeezes in turn, finally focusing golds on stormy blues. The look he meets her with is neutral, but that barely-hidden yearning is probably all too clear to see for the blonde.
A nod follows. ]
Let's go.
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She might regret this later, but she knows she heard him, his voice cutting through that howling storm of doubt and trepidation in her mind like it always did. That look in his eyes, faint but strong seals her fate, and as Hibiki exhales, she leads him by the hand toward the couch. Funny how he always seemed to be the one reaching for her to keep him steady like this when she was the one who was terrified of being alone.
(Don't disappear on me. I can't lose you too.)
Sitting down, she won't force him to do the same. She probably doesn't have to, but even if he decides to keep standing, Hibiki doesn't let go. ]
I should probably start by apologizing, for keeping you in the dark. I didn't want to somehow influence how you felt about some person you couldn't remember. I'm still not sure if telling you everything is the right answer, but let's start here.
That white noise? I'm pretty sure that's because of me.
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Kaito isn't sure why that thought flashes across his mind, but he agrees, and so he follows her stride without question. He sits when she does. Their minds are in accord. No letting go.
What follows is a deep frown as the empath tries to make sense of her admission. Brows furrow and golds search blues as if he'll find the answer there. He doesn't, so eventually... ]
Why would it be your fault? I know you're not out to get me too, and if you were, you've done a real damn good job of making me vulnerable.
[ It's half-joke, half-perplexion. ]
Are you okay? Is something happening to you that might be spreading to others? Or... spreading just to me?
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After a fluttered blink, Hibiki holds her free hand out, waving it dismissively with a brief, forced smile. ]
No, no, I'm totally fine! And so is everybody else as far as I know.
[ She's making this more confusing than it is, which is a feat in and of itself, considering what she's talking about. Lowering her free hand and letting it rest in her lap, her smile fades. Her gaze slips away as she briefly presses her lips together, brows furrowed as she chooses her words carefully.
You've worked so hard to keep from letting their past relationship tie him down. A second chance... this is supposed to be a second chance. ]
I'm not sure how much you remember about where you were before showing up here in Crane City. Not Shibuya, but the place between your life there and now. It was a horrible place; a literal Hell where your darkest insecurities and fears were weaponized against you by a Shadow living in your head. The longer you were there, the harder it was to tune it out and stay in control.
[ Does she realize her fingers anxiously fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt? Probably not. Is it out of worry for how Kaito will react or a genuine trauma response as she recalls her time in the Netherworld? Hard to say. Likely both. ]
The way to fight against that and keep someone's Shadow at bay is through a Soulbond. [ She pauses briefly. How to explain... ] Basically, the two people bonded together are linked telepathically and empathically, and their presence can drown out the other person's Shadow.
...You and I were linked while we were there. That's probably why there's static up there.
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Sure, Hibiki had mentioned that their paths had crossed in past, inaccesible memories, but an entire life? An unlife???
...Wait— ]
So you're saying we... [ A beat. He points to her heart before tapping his own. ]
It's weird. That's absolutely absurd yet completely realistic for what I've witnessed throughout my life. Well, the Shibuya life. I don't know how I could possibly be so out of control of my own psyche that I would dare expose myself like that to another person, and yet...
[ He squeezes her hand again, pulling it close to his chest. ]
I believe you. I don't know if that's the exact reason why my head's so full of fog, but it's as good a start as any.
...But now what?
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Normally Hibiki would doubt herself in situations like this, worrying that she's said too much. She still does to some degree. But he's never let her fall; he's always trusted her in spite of everything they've been through. And for once, she has faith that he'll do the same, memories or not.
Squeezing his hand in response, she quietly exhales before mustering the best smile she can. ]
I wish I knew. I'd do everything I could to help you clear that fog if I did. It might not have anything to do with that connection between us. [ Just say 'Soulmates,' Hibiki. Dodging around it feels awkward. ]
Honestly, I assumed it had been severed after leaving that place, since I haven't heard you or my Shadow's voice in my head since I got here.
[ ...But then what was that text box she saw that day when they reunited? She hadn't tried to reach out to Kaito when that happened and hadn't given it much thought after the fact. That was just a glitch, right..? ]
un: lark
[ it's a number that Kaito rarely gets messages from these days — not that he ever heard from Ruby a great deal even when they were engaged. now, she's even less sure of how to deal with him. he's never seemed to have any memory of the Netherworld, and so she's only ever had this third lifetime to go by in their interactions, which leaves her unable to play the clueless, cheerful princess card. she has to abide by the version of her that he remembers.
for the most part, she's just tried to keep her distance, figuring that he's better off as far from her and her shitty family as possible, but... the Borgias had a history of ruining families after they annulled the marriage. the Amato family should have forgotten about Kaito Nagano entirely; she's just not confident her son of a bitch older brothers wouldn't go back and mess with him for the hell of it. ]
How's your shop going?
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[ Kaito makes a face at his phone, unsure as to whether it was actually Ruby texting him or one of her punkass brothers trying to fuck with him again. The Naganos weren't most families, after all—even if their reputation was predicated on Not Actually Being Yakuza, the members of the clan were just as vicious as the real deal when it came to protecting their patriarch.
Well, that's what he remembers from the false memories. It doesn't help that he's recently reawakened to even more memories: specifically, his time in the Netherworld. Among so many other residents of Crane City, the blonde heiress (or rather, princess) was among those he had spent more time hanging around during his unlife.
In any case, he's happy to keep that bit of information tucked away for now. Always the secretive sort. ]
The empire's machine remains well-oiled. [ Seeing as she's one of the few who knows the true nature of his OFFline world's identity, he doesn't mind speaking frankly. ]
I'd appreciate if your brothers kept their harassment to business hours, but, well.
We couldn't control them if we tried, right?
Are you well?
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Yes, I'm fine.
I'm really, really sorry about them. My parents have moved on now that I have a new fiancé, so I hoped my brothers would forget about it too.
There isn't anything I can do about it...
But as long as you stay away from me, they'll stop trying to harass you sooner or later.
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So...
What you're really saying is that if I beat their asses hard enough,
they'll piss off?
I've been keeping the fighting to a minimum so as not to bring you any negative attention, y'know.
But I can always take the gloves off.
Just say the word.
[ Where in any of that is he saying he'll stay away from her???? ]
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If you touch them, my parents will get their legal teams involved!
[ not to mention, her brothers will probably take it out on her... ]
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Things were a lot easier back when might made right.
[ "Might makes right!"
It was a common catchphrase for the delinquents living in the Batata District's slummy streets. And Kaito was their delinquent prince, back in the day. ]
...I still can't get used to how naturally these fabricated memories come to mind, y'know.
How do you deal with it all?
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Well, it's mostly because I don't want to cause trouble, so I do my best to keep things the same.
It's like... when I'm offline, it's "her" life, and I'm me when I'm online?
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Bah. I'm me either way, fake history or not.
The offline world basically wrote me into the most troublemaking, trouble-attracting antihero type.
What the hell even is a noodle gangster?
Well, I guess it's better than some manhwas I've read.
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Yes, both the offline and online world here are a little... contrived.
Tropey? Is that the word?
I wouldn't have noticed without the fake memories, since that's not really a concept that existed in my time. Not quite like that, at least.
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Tropey's a good word for it.
I suppose they're tropes for a reason, but still.
What I wouldn't give for a life of peace, quiet, and noodles.
[ And you ask why this world gave you a noodle designation... ]
Hey. Ruby.
Do you want to go back?
Or are you satisfied with this world?
Just curious.
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Well...
That's a tricky question.
I miss it, of course, but I'm also not sure if it's ever possible for me to go back.
[ she might just be executed, if she did. even if she weren't, there's no way that her relationship with Iske can be salvaged. they never figured out if they were actually dead in the Netherworld, either... ]
I've made some very dear friends since then, too. I would hate to lose them.
So, if it was a choice between here or there...
I'm not entirely sure, but I might choose here?
[ not that she really wants this mundane fucking nightmare again. it would have been nice if they had just reincarnated from the Netherworld as completely new people. ]
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[ Kaito looks at his phone for a few seconds, contemplating. In the end, he just sighs and reclines further in his chair. ]
You make me really curious, y'know that?
Not that I can't imagine anyone would choose this realistic fabrication over their home worlds, but...
Nevermind that. I'm not trying to pry this time.
I guess circumstances will always be different for different people.
The one thing that makes it impossible for me to settle into this life is the look my mother gives me whenever we're alone at home.
It's like she knows that I don't belong here.
That I'm Kaito, but not her son.
Every time we lock eyes, I remember that I have to go home and find her for real.
[ A solid minute passes between that hefty admission and his next message. ]
Maybe I'll learn how to cross between worlds.
It can't be that hard, right?
After all, someone dragged all of us from across the multiverse to live here and play video games.
If I learn to do the same, then I don't have to choose.
I can just keep in touch with everyone.
Do you think that's stupid?
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Of course not! I think that's a very admirable desire.
[ huuu, and she's automatically slipping into the airheaded princess act, since she associates Kaito with the Netherworld. she's been the honour student and the idiot in two different lives, but it's hard to juggle both at once. this is exactly why she hates it when her relationships in the ON and OFF worlds cross over. ]
The rumour is that there's supposed to be some wish-granting power in this world, right?
That seems like the perfect use of it.