[ Kaito takes stock of every little shift in her emotions as she speaks. It's habit, and even though his senses aren't nearly as sharp as they usually are, he can hear the forlorn echoes in her words.
He wants to hold her tighter. The only thing that stops him is the promise they both made, to let things fall into place naturally.
What's his hand doing linked with hers, then? Or... is that their natural? In the end, he offers her an emphatic squeeze. ]
That... sucks. But I'm with you. My empathic abilities... They've always made it a challenge to tell which emotions are mine and which are trying to usurp mine. [ He shakes his head. ]
...You too, huh? For me, she's my childhood friend, my first romance, and...
[ His features fall, and he squeezes her hand tighter. ]
She's the heiress to the family that almost killed mine. All in this world. And I only recalled these exact memories a few weeks ago.
[ Kaito looses a terse sigh he didn't realize he was holding in. His mug is lifted to his lips, and he drains the coffee out before settling it on the nearby table.
Golds lock to blue-grays. He opts to move on. ]
—Did I ever tell you about my son?
[ There. It's vague. It's safe.
Tango doesn't exist in Crane City. Whatever her answer, it'll help him reorganize these memories that have begun to clash with one another. ]
[ She doesn't seem to notice how melancholic that thought makes her feel. It's easy for her to forget how emotionally devastating that time in her life was, especially now with other memories trying to supersede what she knows was real. Hibiki doesn't realize he can still see right through her to that past trauma, but if Kaito tried to hold her close, she wouldn't stop him. Promises be damned. ]
How were you able to tell the difference? I know that memories are different, but I'll take any advice you've got. [ She pauses briefly. ] I've been writing everything down myself. Everything I remember from before coming here, and the memories that have come after. That way I have a record, just in case.
[ She is just as happy to let Kaito do some of the talking when it comes to previous relationships. Childhood sweethearts, cute--until it very immediately isn't. Blinking rapidly as she tries to process the whole mob plot he's thrown on the table, she offers him a sympathetic, slightly incredulous look. ]
I'm sorry, she what? Kaito, I swear, whatever writer they hired to write your backstory here is clearly having the time of their life here. We can talk about Tango in a sec, but are you okay?
[ Yeah, "this ain't about Tango right now" probably won't go well. At least Kaito knows they talked about him? ]
[ Honestly, if not for the fact that he had his gloves on, he may very well have actually seen everything. It's good that both his glove and the nerf to his empathy are in place, or holding Hibiki's hand would be a much greater inconvenience than comfort in this moment.
At her question, he shakes his head. ]
It's hard to describe. With regards to my emotions, I feel like I'm holding onto a balloon in a hurricane. There's debris everywhere, and the noise drowns out my own voice. But I have to hold onto that balloon, or I'll be swept away into the storm.
That's about as good as an analogy as I can provide. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate all that well to keeping my sets of memories separate. Rather than a balloon in a hurricane, it's like watching two rivers meet in a lake. As the bowl slowly fills, the waters are bound to mix and mingle until one becomes indistinguishable from the other.
[ Kaito looks away. He has yet to release her hand. In fact, he's holding on tighter than ever, to the point that his fingers are starting to quiver. His next words come out in the quietest of murmurs, but Hibiki will hear them loud and clear in her mind, like a gale cutting through mist. ]
...If only I had an anchor...
[ But just as quickly as the wind comes, it dissolves—leaving Kaito to nervously scratch at the back of his neck with his free hand.
Uh oh. His identity as a Noodle Gangster is still supposed to be secret. Idiot. Just because she's your Soulmate— ]
...I like books and I like stories, but talking about how ridiculously mine is written isn't the point right now. Besides, my real life back in Shibuya was way crazier than this.
[ For someone who has the horrible habit of talking too much, Hibiki remains silent as he speaks. He has her full, undivided attention as storm-colored eyes take in everything, from the way he holds himself to any shifts in his gaze. But what's most telling is the way that he clings to her, like... well.
Like an anchor. What he needs the most right now, lest he be pushed further out into dark, uncharted waters. ]
...Hey.
[ And even if he doesn't remember, she isn't going to let that happen again. Squeezing his hand tight, she places her other hand on top, tilting her head in an effort to catch his gaze once more. Come on, look at her. It's okay. She isn't going to let him go anywhere.
But she won't let him change the subject either. Soulmate privileges. ]
I know we promised to let things happen as they happen, but do you mind if I cheat a little bit? It'll probably explain how I know about Tango too. And if it doesn't, I'll give you that one as a freebie.
Kaito's thoughts screech to a halt. For the first time tonight, and maybe the first time since they've started (re)connecting, he hears it. He hears her. The warmth of her hands bleeding through his glove seep into his skin and spread all over his senses.
He'd been grasping her hand so tightly, like it was natural, but Kaito never once thought about why he was holding on. Standing here like this, he wonders if he's come to a realization... or if he's remembered.
Quietly, he murmurs. ]
I...
I'll allow it. I don't mind.
Honestly, I should have just... asked from the start.
[ His free hand taps at his temple, and he huffs a sheepish chuckle. ]
But this has been full of a lot of white noise since I woke up in Crane City. And it's only getting worse. So...
[ He squeezes in turn, finally focusing golds on stormy blues. The look he meets her with is neutral, but that barely-hidden yearning is probably all too clear to see for the blonde.
[ Is she doing the right thing? The whole reason she insisted (yes, insisted) that she keep Kaito in the dark was to give him the choice of living life unencumbered by the weight of all those promises she made to him. This was his second chance; she wasn't going to hold him back from a shot at happiness. Hibiki would not let her own wants dictate how the pieces in this work of art fall into place.
She might regret this later, but she knows she heard him, his voice cutting through that howling storm of doubt and trepidation in her mind like it always did. That look in his eyes, faint but strong seals her fate, and as Hibiki exhales, she leads him by the hand toward the couch. Funny how he always seemed to be the one reaching for her to keep him steady like this when she was the one who was terrified of being alone.
(Don't disappear on me. I can't lose you too.)
Sitting down, she won't force him to do the same. She probably doesn't have to, but even if he decides to keep standing, Hibiki doesn't let go. ]
I should probably start by apologizing, for keeping you in the dark. I didn't want to somehow influence how you felt about some person you couldn't remember. I'm still not sure if telling you everything is the right answer, but let's start here.
That white noise? I'm pretty sure that's because of me.
Kaito isn't sure why that thought flashes across his mind, but he agrees, and so he follows her stride without question. He sits when she does. Their minds are in accord. No letting go.
What follows is a deep frown as the empath tries to make sense of her admission. Brows furrow and golds search blues as if he'll find the answer there. He doesn't, so eventually... ]
Why would it be your fault? I know you're not out to get me too, and if you were, you've done a real damn good job of making me vulnerable.
[ It's half-joke, half-perplexion. ]
Are you okay? Is something happening to you that might be spreading to others? Or... spreading just to me?
[ Of all the conclusions he could possibly jump to, somehow potential contagion wasn't on the list. The fact that he seems more concerned with her rather than himself shouldn't surprise her at this point. They really are way too similar.
After a fluttered blink, Hibiki holds her free hand out, waving it dismissively with a brief, forced smile. ]
No, no, I'm totally fine! And so is everybody else as far as I know.
[ She's making this more confusing than it is, which is a feat in and of itself, considering what she's talking about. Lowering her free hand and letting it rest in her lap, her smile fades. Her gaze slips away as she briefly presses her lips together, brows furrowed as she chooses her words carefully.
You've worked so hard to keep from letting their past relationship tie him down. A second chance... this is supposed to be a second chance. ]
I'm not sure how much you remember about where you were before showing up here in Crane City. Not Shibuya, but the place between your life there and now. It was a horrible place; a literal Hell where your darkest insecurities and fears were weaponized against you by a Shadow living in your head. The longer you were there, the harder it was to tune it out and stay in control.
[ Does she realize her fingers anxiously fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt? Probably not. Is it out of worry for how Kaito will react or a genuine trauma response as she recalls her time in the Netherworld? Hard to say. Likely both. ]
The way to fight against that and keep someone's Shadow at bay is through a Soulbond. [ She pauses briefly. How to explain... ] Basically, the two people bonded together are linked telepathically and empathically, and their presence can drown out the other person's Shadow.
...You and I were linked while we were there. That's probably why there's static up there.
[ Kaito listens attentively, but every sentence leads to mounting confusion. An life between Shibuya and Crane City...
Sure, Hibiki had mentioned that their paths had crossed in past, inaccesible memories, but an entire life? An unlife???
...Wait— ]
So you're saying we... [ A beat. He points to her heart before tapping his own. ]
It's weird. That's absolutely absurd yet completely realistic for what I've witnessed throughout my life. Well, the Shibuya life. I don't know how I could possibly be so out of control of my own psyche that I would dare expose myself like that to another person, and yet...
[ He squeezes her hand again, pulling it close to his chest. ]
I believe you. I don't know if that's the exact reason why my head's so full of fog, but it's as good a start as any.
[ Without his memories of his time in the Netherworld, Kaito has no reason to take anything that she says as fact. Especially when she has done everything she can to keep herself from filling in the blanks for him. As he points to her before drawing that hypothetical line back to him, Hibiki nods silently before focusing her gaze toward her unknowing partner.
Normally Hibiki would doubt herself in situations like this, worrying that she's said too much. She still does to some degree. But he's never let her fall; he's always trusted her in spite of everything they've been through. And for once, she has faith that he'll do the same, memories or not.
Squeezing his hand in response, she quietly exhales before mustering the best smile she can. ]
I wish I knew. I'd do everything I could to help you clear that fog if I did. It might not have anything to do with that connection between us. [ Just say 'Soulmates,' Hibiki. Dodging around it feels awkward. ]
Honestly, I assumed it had been severed after leaving that place, since I haven't heard you or my Shadow's voice in my head since I got here.
[ ...But then what was that text box she saw that day when they reunited? She hadn't tried to reach out to Kaito when that happened and hadn't given it much thought after the fact. That was just a glitch, right..? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He wants to hold her tighter. The only thing that stops him is the promise they both made, to let things fall into place naturally.
What's his hand doing linked with hers, then? Or... is that their natural? In the end, he offers her an emphatic squeeze. ]
That... sucks. But I'm with you. My empathic abilities... They've always made it a challenge to tell which emotions are mine and which are trying to usurp mine. [ He shakes his head. ]
...You too, huh? For me, she's my childhood friend, my first romance, and...
[ His features fall, and he squeezes her hand tighter. ]
She's the heiress to the family that almost killed mine. All in this world. And I only recalled these exact memories a few weeks ago.
[ Kaito looses a terse sigh he didn't realize he was holding in. His mug is lifted to his lips, and he drains the coffee out before settling it on the nearby table.
Golds lock to blue-grays. He opts to move on. ]
—Did I ever tell you about my son?
[ There. It's vague. It's safe.
Tango doesn't exist in Crane City. Whatever her answer, it'll help him reorganize these memories that have begun to clash with one another. ]
no subject
How were you able to tell the difference? I know that memories are different, but I'll take any advice you've got. [ She pauses briefly. ] I've been writing everything down myself. Everything I remember from before coming here, and the memories that have come after. That way I have a record, just in case.
[ She is just as happy to let Kaito do some of the talking when it comes to previous relationships. Childhood sweethearts, cute--until it very immediately isn't. Blinking rapidly as she tries to process the whole mob plot he's thrown on the table, she offers him a sympathetic, slightly incredulous look. ]
I'm sorry, she what? Kaito, I swear, whatever writer they hired to write your backstory here is clearly having the time of their life here. We can talk about Tango in a sec, but are you okay?
[ Yeah, "this ain't about Tango right now" probably won't go well. At least Kaito knows they talked about him? ]
1/2
At her question, he shakes his head. ]
It's hard to describe. With regards to my emotions, I feel like I'm holding onto a balloon in a hurricane. There's debris everywhere, and the noise drowns out my own voice. But I have to hold onto that balloon, or I'll be swept away into the storm.
That's about as good as an analogy as I can provide. Unfortunately, it doesn't translate all that well to keeping my sets of memories separate. Rather than a balloon in a hurricane, it's like watching two rivers meet in a lake. As the bowl slowly fills, the waters are bound to mix and mingle until one becomes indistinguishable from the other.
[ Kaito looks away. He has yet to release her hand. In fact, he's holding on tighter than ever, to the point that his fingers are starting to quiver. His next words come out in the quietest of murmurs, but Hibiki will hear them loud and clear in her mind, like a gale cutting through mist. ]
...If only I had an anchor...
[ But just as quickly as the wind comes, it dissolves—leaving Kaito to nervously scratch at the back of his neck with his free hand.
Uh oh. His identity as a Noodle Gangster is still supposed to be secret. Idiot. Just because she's your Soulmate— ]
2/2
This is just... more melodramatic.
[ A beat. Golds widen in realization. ]
Wait.
You mentioned Tango.
You know him?
no subject
Like an anchor. What he needs the most right now, lest he be pushed further out into dark, uncharted waters. ]
...Hey.
[ And even if he doesn't remember, she isn't going to let that happen again. Squeezing his hand tight, she places her other hand on top, tilting her head in an effort to catch his gaze once more. Come on, look at her. It's okay. She isn't going to let him go anywhere.
But she won't let him change the subject either. Soulmate privileges. ]
I know we promised to let things happen as they happen, but do you mind if I cheat a little bit? It'll probably explain how I know about Tango too. And if it doesn't, I'll give you that one as a freebie.
no subject
Kaito's thoughts screech to a halt. For the first time tonight, and maybe the first time since they've started (re)connecting, he hears it. He hears her. The warmth of her hands bleeding through his glove seep into his skin and spread all over his senses.
He'd been grasping her hand so tightly, like it was natural, but Kaito never once thought about why he was holding on. Standing here like this, he wonders if he's come to a realization... or if he's remembered.
Quietly, he murmurs. ]
I...
I'll allow it. I don't mind.
Honestly, I should have just... asked from the start.
[ His free hand taps at his temple, and he huffs a sheepish chuckle. ]
But this has been full of a lot of white noise since I woke up in Crane City. And it's only getting worse. So...
[ He squeezes in turn, finally focusing golds on stormy blues. The look he meets her with is neutral, but that barely-hidden yearning is probably all too clear to see for the blonde.
A nod follows. ]
Let's go.
no subject
She might regret this later, but she knows she heard him, his voice cutting through that howling storm of doubt and trepidation in her mind like it always did. That look in his eyes, faint but strong seals her fate, and as Hibiki exhales, she leads him by the hand toward the couch. Funny how he always seemed to be the one reaching for her to keep him steady like this when she was the one who was terrified of being alone.
(Don't disappear on me. I can't lose you too.)
Sitting down, she won't force him to do the same. She probably doesn't have to, but even if he decides to keep standing, Hibiki doesn't let go. ]
I should probably start by apologizing, for keeping you in the dark. I didn't want to somehow influence how you felt about some person you couldn't remember. I'm still not sure if telling you everything is the right answer, but let's start here.
That white noise? I'm pretty sure that's because of me.
no subject
Kaito isn't sure why that thought flashes across his mind, but he agrees, and so he follows her stride without question. He sits when she does. Their minds are in accord. No letting go.
What follows is a deep frown as the empath tries to make sense of her admission. Brows furrow and golds search blues as if he'll find the answer there. He doesn't, so eventually... ]
Why would it be your fault? I know you're not out to get me too, and if you were, you've done a real damn good job of making me vulnerable.
[ It's half-joke, half-perplexion. ]
Are you okay? Is something happening to you that might be spreading to others? Or... spreading just to me?
no subject
After a fluttered blink, Hibiki holds her free hand out, waving it dismissively with a brief, forced smile. ]
No, no, I'm totally fine! And so is everybody else as far as I know.
[ She's making this more confusing than it is, which is a feat in and of itself, considering what she's talking about. Lowering her free hand and letting it rest in her lap, her smile fades. Her gaze slips away as she briefly presses her lips together, brows furrowed as she chooses her words carefully.
You've worked so hard to keep from letting their past relationship tie him down. A second chance... this is supposed to be a second chance. ]
I'm not sure how much you remember about where you were before showing up here in Crane City. Not Shibuya, but the place between your life there and now. It was a horrible place; a literal Hell where your darkest insecurities and fears were weaponized against you by a Shadow living in your head. The longer you were there, the harder it was to tune it out and stay in control.
[ Does she realize her fingers anxiously fidgeting with the fabric of her skirt? Probably not. Is it out of worry for how Kaito will react or a genuine trauma response as she recalls her time in the Netherworld? Hard to say. Likely both. ]
The way to fight against that and keep someone's Shadow at bay is through a Soulbond. [ She pauses briefly. How to explain... ] Basically, the two people bonded together are linked telepathically and empathically, and their presence can drown out the other person's Shadow.
...You and I were linked while we were there. That's probably why there's static up there.
no subject
Sure, Hibiki had mentioned that their paths had crossed in past, inaccesible memories, but an entire life? An unlife???
...Wait— ]
So you're saying we... [ A beat. He points to her heart before tapping his own. ]
It's weird. That's absolutely absurd yet completely realistic for what I've witnessed throughout my life. Well, the Shibuya life. I don't know how I could possibly be so out of control of my own psyche that I would dare expose myself like that to another person, and yet...
[ He squeezes her hand again, pulling it close to his chest. ]
I believe you. I don't know if that's the exact reason why my head's so full of fog, but it's as good a start as any.
...But now what?
no subject
Normally Hibiki would doubt herself in situations like this, worrying that she's said too much. She still does to some degree. But he's never let her fall; he's always trusted her in spite of everything they've been through. And for once, she has faith that he'll do the same, memories or not.
Squeezing his hand in response, she quietly exhales before mustering the best smile she can. ]
I wish I knew. I'd do everything I could to help you clear that fog if I did. It might not have anything to do with that connection between us. [ Just say 'Soulmates,' Hibiki. Dodging around it feels awkward. ]
Honestly, I assumed it had been severed after leaving that place, since I haven't heard you or my Shadow's voice in my head since I got here.
[ ...But then what was that text box she saw that day when they reunited? She hadn't tried to reach out to Kaito when that happened and hadn't given it much thought after the fact. That was just a glitch, right..? ]