Boo, you really are a meanie. I just thought it might make your heart skip a beat, that's all! 💗 Just because it's old doesn't mean it's not cute anymore, besides! But maybe it's not so exciting anymore... If that's the problem, go ahead and tell me what your preferences are! I'll make sure to send you something more exciting next time. 💕🤳
[ ...He's being bullied. The tables have turned. This is horrible!
...Well, it's not that bad. He could be stuck in Mobius.
Maybe he is! That's probably worth a DM chat with the writer.
—Anyway. ]
My heart DID skip a beat. For the wrong reasons!
But I mean, I didn't say it wasn't cute. That's a very flattering shot, and the heart shape goes well with your eyes, I guess.
Anyway, that isn't the point I'm trying to make! Risque photos like that can get people in trouble if you just load them into their phones without them knowing. We're both just lucky I covered the phone before my boss saw too much. Be more careful, Lambda!
Is that an actual offer, or are you just pulling my leg?
Hmm, I suppose you're right. After all, that was supposed to be for your eyes only! Ooh, and wouldn't it be more exciting to know in advance? You'd have time to let the anticipation build and your imagination could go wild. I'll keep that in mind! ❤️
[ Whether she's actually learned her lesson is uh debatable, but we'll call this one a W for now. ]
Anyway! Do you really think I'd joke about something like that? Hm, well, I probably would, come to think of it... B U T – ! ! It's something that'd make you happy, right? So of course it's a real offer.
Of course I want to! I sent you the first one just because I felt like it. Hm, that's a lie, actually. ✨ I sent it because I was hoping you'd say I was cute when you saw it. 💖
Of course! 💖 How exactly would you like me to verify it? I can sign a contract if you like. Or I can swear on something precious! Maybe you'd like me to write it in blood? That last one might be a bit hard, since I don't have any blood of my own. But I'll do my best! 💉✨
Oh, it was just a joke? I already went ahead and wrote it up...
[ Th-there's a link to a PDF she signed? It's written up like a legally binding contract?? Truly, she has too much time on her hands. ]
But that I can do! 💖 Do you have apron preferences? Or how about a particular pose? Or maybe you'd like me to keep it to myself and surprise you 🎵 Either way! Just be good and patient and wait ten minutes. 🙌 And then you'll have no choice but to tell me how cute I am!
[ True to her word, Lambda gives him ten minutes to the second before sending it through – this time she has the decency to message it rather than just injecting it into his camera roll for God and anyone to see. As promised, she's gone classic naked apron with an absurdly frilly thing that just barely manages to keep her covered and she's struck a cutesy pose, but considering just how much skin is on display with the apron the whole thing just ends up looking indecent... you know, as intended. ]
Special delivery! What do you think? I can send you another if you need to see from another angle. 💗
[ His sensible side is screaming to just call her cute and be done with this, but Kaito quickly reminds himself that his morals are skewed to begin with because he grew up around yokai.
That's the excuse he's going to stick with when the weight of his horny brain hubris catches up with him. ]
This is good, but I think I'm going to need more than just one extra angle.
Go for at least three more, and then I'll be able to form a proper opinion.
Kaito's being greeeedyyy. 💕 But I don't mind at all. I really like it when you're honest. I'll send them right through!
[ She sends six that she apparently just had ready to go, because of course she did. They're all in different poses in varying states of definitely not safe for work (or your camera roll) but nothing completely explicit. ]
I'm asking right now! I'd like your full opinion, please. Don't hold anything back! ❤️ It might be a bit embarrassing, but it's not like anyone else will ever know. It'll be a secret between the two of us!
[ Oh, she's gone right back to bullying. In fact, did it ever even stop?? ]
[ Alas, as a Fellow Bully™, his resistance to counter-teasing is quite high.
That and he's no longer at work so nobody can breathe down his neck while he texts an AI. ]
Give me a little more credit than that. You may have caught me off guard, but I'm back on my feet.
Honestly? You could probably start a gravure career with that kind of posing. Just get a better camera and a good lighting setup and you'll take the world by storm.
I'm also offering photography services at a specially discounted rate.
You really think so? ❤️ It makes me so happy to hear that! I think I'd be pretty popular, don't you? People from all over the world would queue up to buy my photo books. 📷 There's just one problem, though! A major problem that'd tank my career before it ever got off the ground!
Given that you randomly showed me a risque pic just for the gratification of being called cute in the first place, I struggle to think you wouldn't get someone else's validation—especially if they're nicer to you than I am.
💔 You're so clueless ! ! ! If a girl tells you something like that, you should be pleased to hear it! Even if it's not true, it's fun to imagine that it might be, right? It'd mean you were her special someone. That's what you'd want to hear, isn't it?
Would it make you happy if you were? After all, I wasn't lying when I said I wouldn't send them to anyone else. 💕 Don't misunderstand. I talk to lots of different people. I have a lot of time on my hands, after all. But a lot of them get bored quickly and they'll move on. Or they don't really understand and think someone's playing a prank. Or even when they do understand, they're not as fun to talk to as you are. Or as much fun to tease. 💓 So that's why those pictures are just for you. Does that make you my special someone, then? 💗
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I just thought it might make your heart skip a beat, that's all!
💗
Just because it's old doesn't mean it's not cute anymore, besides!
But maybe it's not so exciting anymore...
If that's the problem, go ahead and tell me what your preferences are!
I'll make sure to send you something more exciting next time. 💕🤳
[ bullying him...... ]
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...Well, it's not that bad. He could be stuck in Mobius.
Maybe he is! That's probably worth a DM chat with the writer.—Anyway. ]
My heart DID skip a beat. For the wrong reasons!
But I mean, I didn't say it wasn't cute. That's a very flattering shot, and the heart shape goes well with your eyes, I guess.
Anyway, that isn't the point I'm trying to make! Risque photos like that can get people in trouble if you just load them into their phones without them knowing. We're both just lucky I covered the phone before my boss saw too much. Be more careful, Lambda!
Is that an actual offer, or are you just pulling my leg?
no subject
Ooh, and wouldn't it be more exciting to know in advance?
You'd have time to let the anticipation build and your imagination could go wild.
I'll keep that in mind!
❤️
[ Whether she's actually learned her lesson is uh debatable, but we'll call this one a W for now. ]
Anyway!
Do you really think I'd joke about something like that?
Hm, well, I probably would, come to think of it...
B U T – ! !
It's something that'd make you happy, right?
So of course it's a real offer.
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...I don't know about happy, but it would be satisfying.
Wait, hold the fuck up. Is this even what you want to do, or are you just offering because you think it'll please me?
Answer truthfully, or I'll switch to my old flip phone for the rest of the week.
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(╥_╥) Sob sob...
[ LIKE SHE HASN'T EARNED IT??? ]
Of course I want to!
I sent you the first one just because I felt like it.
Hm, that's a lie, actually. ✨
I sent it because I was hoping you'd say I was cute when you saw it.
💖
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[ I dunno... Has she??? ]
I appreciate your honesty, even if it had to follow a blatant lie.
Now verify that you really want to send me something risky, or else. ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ
[ The next text is a picture of a very old flip-phone. Circa 1997, probably. It's ancient! ]
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How exactly would you like me to verify it?
I can sign a contract if you like.
Or I can swear on something precious!
Maybe you'd like me to write it in blood?
That last one might be a bit hard, since I don't have any blood of my own.
But I'll do my best! 💉✨
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I'm kidding. You don't actually have to verify. If you really wanna send me something, how about naked apron? That's a timeless classic, I guess...
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[ Th-there's a link to a PDF she signed? It's written up like a legally binding contract?? Truly, she has too much time on her hands. ]
But that I can do! 💖
Do you have apron preferences?
Or how about a particular pose?
Or maybe you'd like me to keep it to myself and surprise you 🎵
Either way!
Just be good and patient and wait ten minutes.
🙌 And then you'll have no choice but to tell me how cute I am!
no subject
The power of science is staggering...
Go ahead and do what you think will look cutest, and I suppose I'll be the judge in ten minutes...
[ Seriously, this thing's even been notarized! Lambda's too powerful. ]
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Special delivery!
What do you think?
I can send you another if you need to see from another angle. 💗
1/2
Considering what she planted in his phone earlier, he really shouldn't be surprised.
He's still surprised. ]
2/2
That's the excuse he's going to stick with when the weight of his
horny brainhubris catches up with him. ]This is good, but I think I'm going to need more than just one extra angle.
Go for at least three more, and then I'll be able to form a proper opinion.
no subject
But I don't mind at all. I really like it when you're honest.
I'll send them right through!
[ She sends six that she apparently just had ready to go, because of course she did. They're all in different poses in varying states of definitely not safe for work (or your camera roll) but nothing completely explicit. ]
There!
What do you think?
❤️
no subject
[ Is he embarrassed to be caught red-gloved? Yes.
Is he zooming in on her chest?
Also yes. ]
Fine, you got me. You're very cute, Lambda.
More than cute, but that opinion wasn't asked for so I will be promptly returning it to the sea of my soul.
no subject
I'd like your full opinion, please.
Don't hold anything back! ❤️
It might be a bit embarrassing, but it's not like anyone else will ever know.
It'll be a secret between the two of us!
[ Oh, she's gone right back to bullying. In fact, did it ever even stop?? ]
no subject
That and he's no longer at work so nobody can breathe down his neck while he texts an AI. ]
Give me a little more credit than that. You may have caught me off guard, but I'm back on my feet.
Honestly? You could probably start a gravure career with that kind of posing. Just get a better camera and a good lighting setup and you'll take the world by storm.
I'm also offering photography services at a specially discounted rate.
no subject
❤️
It makes me so happy to hear that!
I think I'd be pretty popular, don't you?
People from all over the world would queue up to buy my photo books. 📷
There's just one problem, though!
A major problem that'd tank my career before it ever got off the ground!
no subject
...Aside from the fact that you're an AI and I still don't know if you have a physical body, what's the issue?
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I wouldn't show pictures like that to a n y o n e but Kaito of course.
1/2
2/2
Given that you randomly showed me a risque pic just for the gratification of being called cute in the first place, I struggle to think you wouldn't get someone else's validation—especially if they're nicer to you than I am.
Which isn't hard to manage.
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You're so clueless ! ! !
If a girl tells you something like that, you should be pleased to hear it!
Even if it's not true, it's fun to imagine that it might be, right?
It'd mean you were her special someone.
That's what you'd want to hear, isn't it?
no subject
Well, either way. He should clear the air before going off any more presumptuously than he already has. ]
Am I your special someone, then?
The tone of this conversation changes significantly based on your answer.
If you lie to me, I won't be mad.
I'll only be hurt.
no subject
After all, I wasn't lying when I said I wouldn't send them to anyone else.
💕
Don't misunderstand. I talk to lots of different people. I have a lot of time on my hands, after all.
But a lot of them get bored quickly and they'll move on.
Or they don't really understand and think someone's playing a prank.
Or even when they do understand, they're not as fun to talk to as you are.
Or as much fun to tease. 💓
So that's why those pictures are just for you.
Does that make you my special someone, then?
💗
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